Challenge 2: 30 days without one sip of coffee!
An unthinkable achievement only 2months earlier when my life was far too busy to be able to afford a no coffee day even on the weekend. But with the quarantine, remote work and having my bed beside me everyday all day, very doable. For these reasons and plenty more I decided to make April coffee-free and it was awful and very educational.
My relationship with coffee started when I was passing my high school final exam and had to study plenty of night hours and keep myself energized and focused. After that, we just never had a bad day, not until recent years anyway. As coffee became something I drink when I am mostly stressed and under pressure, I began using it the other way around. I would drink it to increase pressure on myself when deadlines are near even when it lost its ability to help me stay up or focus. It just became the ‘exam drink’ or the ‘busy drink’. A couple months ago I noticed this when even on holidays I couldn’t quit it. I couldn’t let go of my own stress and need for hyperactivity because of all the shit underneath. And when such things become apparent and clear to you, they become scary and they start to demand fixing.
If I can’t have a peaceful day without needing mental stimulation, am I even okay? Nope, I’m not. And this is why it was on my yearly challenges list and I knew I have to find a spot for it at some point. So here we are. After 30 days, I’m here to tell you all about the side effects of quitting, the process and the conclusions I am coming out with.
The first few days were among the hardest physically. There was a lot of headache and grogginess. As I knew these outcomes beforehand, I had prepared for them and took 3 days off. In those first few days I would sleep up to 14h a day. YES! I was missing so much deep sleep that y body got right back on it. I made sure to give myself enough mental space to accept that I won’t be productive or awesome or creative for the next few days.
The second hard hurdle to overcome were habits. On a workday when I am most productive, I like waking up early, from 4 am to 7am depending on how early I slept. I appreciate my ritual of coffee, cookies and looking out the window while listening to music or the news in the morning. I love that I go back to my desk, write down my to do list with the last few sips of my coffee and get on it. I hadn’t realized how much it would ruin this to take away the element of coffee from this process. I always felt the mental kick just before I start working so it always had a great effect and it became usual. When I quit, I replaced coffee in this ritual with tea, but it definitely did not give me the ‘mental kick’ and so the whole ritual became useless as it takes me forever to actually write down a to do list or feel the energy to actually do it. No matter how long I had slept in the night before.
One awesome trick I found is to go for a run. On two of my coffee-less days, I went out for a 30mins run at 7am ( which is when we are allowed to go out) and by 8h30 when I would have showered and had my breakfast, I would have so much energy that I get right on it. This information was very surprising to me because I always took exercise for an evening thing which is made to ‘rest’ after. However, it turned out to give me more energy and motivation than coffee used to. Simply because after I run I feel I already accomplished something and everything in my day will be a bonus from here and because I meditate a lot while running so after a good run I’m always very centered and peaceful within all while very energetic and positive. The downside is that in my city, it won’t be that easy to just strap on and go on a run so that will take a little getting used to.
The final effect I will be addressing in this article is love. Turns out, I actually love coffee. When I use to have it because I ‘needed’ it, I didn’t have a good reference for knowing: would I drink it if I did not need to? I guess I would. By the few last days of this challenge I found myself waiting for the day I will get to enjoy it again with a good tasty chocolate cake. Yes, I’m a foody and I’m proud of that. Now that I know what this consumption means to me and I am sure that I would be okay without it, I am a lot more confident in handling it.
I think that when we force outrselves to live without something we love so much and need, we are setting ourselves up for survival. Nothing lasts forever and wether it’s your favorite drink or favorite sweater, we must have enough control over our selves to be able to let things go. We must also have a survival mindset where, when an item is missing, we don’t waste time mourning it but rather find ways to replace or live without it.
I don’t think I would let myself go back to my old consumption rate (up to three mugs a day) because it was unsustainable and it caused me a lot of problems mentally and physically. However, I don’t think I will quit it forever as I do believe that the stimulation brings out a side to me that I really like, plus, how else would I achieve the ‘boss woman’ look of Jessica from Suits?
